August
19, 2013
Dear
Diary,
I
had the most wonderful surprise presented to me today. Though, I don’t know why
it should be a surprise. It seems perfectly logical that someone would want to
sketch my likeness. After all, I am quite beautiful and clever and a wonder to
behold. It is only natural that others see that in me. As a result, one of my
minions, Denise, has outdone herself. Despite her limitations of not being me,
she managed to find the wherewithal to create a thing of beauty—a picture of
me!
Here
is a little portrait she worked up of a typical day for me:
I
am considering removing Denise from the shark feeding department and promoting her
to assistant manager of the doomsday device department. Bart has complained about needing an aide to help sketch working drafts for Dr. Astic. There
is no need to let such a talent go to waste.
And
I can always find someone else for the sharks to eat. I hope it’s not too late.
Note to self: Begin testing minions for hidden
abilities before making them chum.
That’s
all I have for you today. I am already late for my therapy session and Dr. Freeman
abhors tardiness.
He offered
me his watch yesterday to keep up with the time, but I found it hard to wear
after I shoved it in that hole I shot in his thigh. Ah, well, I just wanted to drop in and share my excitement about the
picture. If she still possesses all of her limbs, I might have her work up even
more sketches. I just hope it doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg. Or rather her.
Get
it? Shark food? Arm and a leg? HA! I kill me.
Which
is good, because if anyone else tried to kill me they would regret it.
Gotta
run,
Sylvia
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